


Names

by GreenPhoenix



Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-02-08 03:04:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1924359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenPhoenix/pseuds/GreenPhoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post season six, Toby and Ryan look out for each other. They’re survivors and that gives them a connection</p>
            </blockquote>





	Names

The power of a name is that it can transform the wearer. Make a king into a pauper and vice versa. It also tells you a lot about how people view you. He’s had a lot of names here. From Vern’s demeaning repertoire to sister Pete’s familiar but not too invasive use of his first name. Most of them use his last name, even Ryan. Or some versions thereof, “Beech” is what Ryan mostly prefers to use. Familiar but not too familiar, friendly but not too intimate. Of course the state took his name away and slapped a number on his ass. The most intimate nickname is reserved for family members and one who no longer has the lips to speak it. Because he’s dead. In Toby’s dreams that name is spoken over and over. “Toby I love you. Beecher, don’t!” One sentence proclaiming undying love and one stabbing him in the back, nearly landing him on death row. Too bad it didn’t work Chris. He’s not a number waiting to die, he’s a number incarcerated for life now. 

 

In the reopened newly bluish EmCity, he’s hardly alone. He knows all the inmates by name. His fellow lifers nod to him in understanding. He did kill Vern even if his hand was forced. Miguel is off his head, with love or just d-tabs? He and Torquemada hardly ever leave each other’s side. They seem as happy as anyone can be here. Perhaps that’s a sign of insanity. Rebadow has Busmalis restored at his side, an old married couple as ever. As for himself he’s drawn to Ryan by their shared losses. Cyril and Chris were the oxygen they breathed and now they’re gone. Gloria remains, but even Ryan can’t maim himself enough times to see her as often as he likes. So they cling to each other.

 

They share a pod, because McManus liked the idea. One night Ryan offered to blow him, but while looking at the veined snake he retched and backed down. Toby blew him and Ryan’s eyes were closed, imagining Gloria or Claire. Toby kept his eyes open, he was done pretending Chris was alive. He needed to move on, and if sucking Ryan was what he needed to do then he’d do it. When Ryan came his eyes opened and for a second he let his guard down. There was something there. It was enough to keep going.

 

Days pass and the grey dullness becomes almost bearable. Ryan talks of his father who’s dying and Toby holds his hand. Ryan allows it for a few minutes, before he puts his game face back on. “I’m not like that,” he says. Not like you he means. But he still needs comfort and he has a need for closeness.

 

Seamus O’Reily passes and they get to bury him on the outside. McManus allows Ryan to go to the funeral. Suzanne is still in EmCity but she’s leaving soon. She goes to the funeral as well. Afterwards Ryan talks of seeing his ex, Shannon, and how she’s moved on and is remarried and has a kid. That could have been him or Cyril. But it’s not.

 

That night Ryan retches but sucks him. He insists he needs to do it, to reciprocate. He can’t close his eyes, who’s he going to imagine, Gloria with a strap on? There’s no one else he’d do this for after all. So his eyes stay open and he focuses on the mechanics of cocksucking, like it’s a job. Toby is a patient and experienced teacher after all. He’s not Vern. Ryan learns and when Toby comes he spits the semen out and mutters, “That’s nasty”. “I didn’t eat asparagus,” says Toby. Ryan looks perplexed. “It gives a funky taste” says Toby and remembers Chris telling him as much. Which is why Bonnie never cooked him that. The memory is distant, as if encased in amber. It did happen. Chris was real. Ryan holds him a little and tells him he’ll die if he tells anyone. Toby shrugs, he could die and not care. Besides Ryan is kidding. 

 

The days pass in here and Ryan still calls him “Beech” or “lawboy” even when they’re alone. It’s fine, it’s not like they’re in love or anything. They’re just looking out for each other. Making things bearable. Toby offers to let Ryan fuck him. Ryan agrees and pretends he’s Gloria the first few times. He gets used to it eventually. Toby won’t fuck him, that’s taking things too far. He has a new friend he fucks occasionally, an Italian who’s closeted. He knows that telling anyone would be hazardous so he doesn’t. When he calls the guy “Chris” by mistake it’s okay. They all know the legend of him and Chris. It’s a fairy tale by now.

 

And so it will continue, he and Ryan will look out for each other. Survivors in spite of it all. They didn’t know that when they first got high and accidentally fucked. It was just once and it didn’t even matter. Shit happens when you’re high. For Toby it was a fuck you to Vern, a way of getting back power. As for Ryan, well he always had a soft spot for lawboy. Maybe he still does.

 

One night in a not too distant future Ryan will look at Toby and whisper his first name with affection. Names have a power and in here power is everything. Having it means survival, and letting someone use a name carries a deep meaning. The state has made numbers of them all, all lined up waiting to die. How they live is all that matters in here.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Oz-prompt-a-thon 2014.


End file.
